Hey incredible fellow mom of multiples! Let's talk about something truly unique to our experience: the bond between our babies. From the outside, people might see two (or more!) tiny humans, but we know there's a whole world of interaction happening right in front of us. They share a bond that started long before they met us, and as their mom, we have a front-row seat to an unspoken language only they understand.
It's easy to get caught up in the logistics of care—who needs to be fed, who is crying, and who is sleeping. But a beautiful part of our job is also to be an interpreter and a facilitator of this incredible sibling relationship.
Here are a few unique ways to think about and encourage the bond between your multiples, even in the very early days:
The "Silent Conversation"
Have you ever noticed your babies making eye contact or reaching out a hand toward each other? This is their silent conversation. Acknowledge it! Narrate what you see: "Oh, it looks like you two are having a little chat!" This validates their connection and shows them you see their special bond, too.
As a mom of triplets myself—Emmett, Ezra, and Ellie—I see all the combinations of this every day. The boys, Emmett and Ezra, have their own silent ways of communicating, a kind of shared understanding that feels completely theirs. I see Ellie and Ezra have their own unique bond, and a separate, sweet connection between Emmett and Ellie. And sometimes, in a rare, magical moment, I catch all three of them together, making eye contact and soft sounds, and it truly looks like they're all "game planning" their next big adventure! This proves that even at a young age, these bonds are unique and constantly evolving.
The "Shared Story" Ritual
Instead of reading a book to just one baby, make it a ritual to read it to all of them, even if one is just lying nearby. They might not understand the words, but they will absorb the shared experience of your voice, the rhythm of the story, and the close proximity to their siblings. This builds a foundation of shared moments and memories.
The "Parallel Play" Space
As they grow, you'll hear a lot about "parallel play," but you can start this concept early. When you have a moment, place your babies near each other on a blanket. You don't have to force them to interact. Just let them observe each other, make cooing sounds, and explore their own hands while being aware of their sibling's presence. This teaches them that their sibling is a constant, safe part of their world.
The "Balanced Attention" Myth
There's a lot of pressure to give equal attention, but with multiples, that's often impossible. Instead of a strict 50/50 split, focus on balanced attention over time. If one baby needs a little extra one-on-one time for a feed or a snuggle, that's okay. The other baby will get their turn. Your love for them isn't being divided; it's being multiplied, and it's okay to distribute it where it's needed most in the moment.
Our role in the beginning isn't just to care for them; it's to nurture this amazing, unique connection they have with each other. By simply acknowledging their bond and giving them space to be with each other, we're building the foundation for a relationship that will last a lifetime.
So, what's one small, sweet interaction you've noticed between your multiples lately?
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